Monday, October 31, 2011

My take on: LOVE



I don't believe in love at first sight.. (let's get real.. Romeo and Juliet were rich, spoiled, and hormonal teenagers who did not put much thought into their "how are we gonna get laid" plan.. that story was all lust and foolishness and Shakespeare must have been smoking some good hookah when he wrote that isht..)

I don't believe that a relationship where "opposites attract" has any long term potential... eventually for love to work your paths and life goals have to be somewhat aligned.. You may have great physical chemistry with someone that doesn't share ANY of your values but at the end of the day you can't establish a meaningful and lasting bond with that person.

I don't think love should "endure all" and "forgive all".. Pleaseee... STFU with that bullisht... if someone consistently disrespects you and/or takes you for granted you should tell that yucker to get the heck out of your life.. You have to love yourself FIRST and not let anyone EVER take away your happiness.

Having said all that...

I do believe that it's possible to find someone with whom you can grow old and wrinkly with and who will value you beyond your physical attributes...someone who will be genuine, respectful, honest, loving, caring.. Kinda like how Nicholas Sparks narrates it in "The Notebook" (I'm talking about the book.. NOT the movie.. the movie sucked major hairy balls)..

Even though the cynic in me sometimes tells me "how the fuh can you STILL be so naive!??" I refuse to give up. Call me a foolish optimist or perhaps just a fool but I think if you give in to your cynical ways and give up in finding love.. then love will never find you.

I think most of us have had our heart broken at one point or another.. (if you haven't gone through heartbreak by now then, lucky you.. I hope you never have to experience that excruciating pain which feels as though someone has poured acid down your throat and ripped out your intestines..) However, just because it didn't work out with one, two, five, or maybe ten people.. that doesn't mean you're doomed to die alone and become a cat lady/dude. Yeah it sucks to spend time and effort in a relationship and still see it crumble down but for the sake of your spiritual and mental well-being you should start looking at each failed relationship as a valuable learning experience. That way, you don't feel as though it was a total waste of time and you can avoid harboring resentment in your heart and/or adopting the "poor me" victim mentality.

Everyone wants to be loved.. We all want to find that "special someone" who will whisper beautiful things in our ears, sweep us off our feet, carry us into the sunset and give us multiple orgasms... Yes, love is great and  wonderful but why should we expect for another person to make us happy? Why can't we learn to be happy on our own? It is totally unrealistic to think that once you fall in love the other person's ultimate goal in life should be to make/keep you happy.

So let's get real...

I think love is about finding someone with whom you can be yourself with. It's about caring and doing nice things for each other without keeping tabs. It's learning to understand and trust each other. It's knowing you can count on the other person to be there and offer you their support when life throws you a curve-ball. Love is about building a future together little by little.. without setting up unrealistic expectations beforehand. It's not about possessing the other, or limiting the other person's freedom. It's about exploring your boundaries together and learning to expand them (hence the phrase "love gives your heart wings")... Love is empowering and inspires spiritual growth.. It really is more than it's cracked up to be...

So that's my take on love.. I'm done ranting about this for now.. Besoss to all!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

PLEASE STOP COMPLAINING.. YOUR LIFE DOESN'T SUCK


Life is really not as complicated as we make it...
Sometimes we incessantly complain about being stuck in an uncomfortable place, situation, relationship, job...

"WAAAAHHH! my job sucks major hairy sweaty old balls.. I am too smart for this POS job and my boss is a dbag with the IQ of an ant who doesn't appreciate me... yet I make no effort to try to look for another job or advance my education so I can go up to my asshole coworkers and be like: PEACE OUT BItCHAS!! Oh the world is sooo UNFAIR.. ::sob sob::"

"WAAAHHH!!!! my girlfriend/boyfriend is a selfish bitch/bastard.. I don't think he/she loves me anymore yet I will stay with him/her and kiss the ground he/she walks on.. who knows.. maybe I can get him/her to love me someday.. or maybe I'm just a self-loathing masochist who likes being in a shitty relationship.. 'til I figure it out I will stay in this doomed relationship and waste precious years of my life I could have otherwise used trying to get to know myself and making better priorities..."

"WAAAHHH!! I have no good friends.. The people I hang out with only use me for my money/looks/talent.. If tomorrow I were to lose this they would all leave me and I'd be completely alone.. I have not taken the time to nurture love and genuine friendships in my life but who cares? I'm so rich/beautiful/talented that I am entitled to have everything I want! Why doesn't the universe provide me with naturally awesome people who will love me for me!? (whoever that is...)"

If you're suddenly confronted with any of these situations or you're blowing a simple problem completely out of proportion I'm about to reveal a very important set of steps which will be able to solve most of your petty little problems.. are you ready.. ?

FIRST... Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat after me: "Starting today I will man the eff up and stop thinking that the world owes me happiness and love.." In the words of Mark Twain: "the world doesn't owe you anything.. it was here first".
SECOND... Start taking responsibility for your life. Yeah.. sometimes shitty things happen that are out of our control but most of the time we get ourselves knee-deep in doo-doo because we keep making one bad decision after another and not holding ourselves accountable for our actions. So STOP... and think: hmmm did I do ANYTHING that could have contributed to me being stuck in this craphole? If the answer is yes/maybe.. then..
THIRD.... STOP bitching please! And realize that you have the power to change your life for the better. If you take all the energy you use to whine to actually get off your ass and decide to change things then I guarantee that you WILL get out of that crappy situation faster than you can sneeze.

Now I'm not saying I don't get a case of whiny-bitch-itis  from time to time.. Yeah sometimes it feels good to vent, make a pouty face, and whine like a 5-year old. It's always a hundred times easier to blame someone else for our problems and to think that the world is against you and that life is totally unfair. However, if you constantly make yourself the victim your are cheating yourself and taking away your own power to learn, grow, and move on...

Monday, October 24, 2011

Daily Quote: We shape ourselves

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die.  And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Setting Lifetime Goals (Advice from MindTools.com)

see entire article here: http://www.mindtools.com/page6.html

The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or at least, by a significant and distant age in the future). Setting lifetime goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of your decision making.

To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set goals in some of the following categories (or in other categories of your own, where these are important to you):

Career - What level do you want to reach in your career, or what do you want to achieve?
Financial - How much do you want to earn, by what stage? How is this related to your career goals?
Education - Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to have in order to achieve other goals?
Family - Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent? How do you want to be seen by a partner or by members of your extended family?
Artistic - Do you want to achieve any artistic goals?
Attitude - Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? (If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.)
Physical - Are there any athletic goals that you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
Pleasure - How do you want to enjoy yourself? (You should ensure that some of your life is for you!)
Public Service - Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?

Ongoing goal: Be a good dancer



I love to dance.. I think I've enjoyed dancing ever since I was able to get on my two feet and shake my body to a lively tune. When I was little my mom made me take ballet first. Since I was a distracted free spirit  I did not enjoy this strict form of dance. So then my mother decided that maybe flamenco would be good... and although I did enjoy it more I did not have the discipline nor the stability in my life to take it seriously.

Every time I dance I feel freedom on a heightened level which I am not able to replicate with any other experience. Therefore, this year I decided to finally stop ignoring my passion and start dedicating myself to one of my ongoing life goals.

I have found a dance studio near my house which is very affordable. The instructors are all amazing and the girls that dance there all seem to have the same desire to reconnect with their talent. For now I am going to be studying belly dance, flamenco, and chair-dance choreography. Hopefully by this time next year I will be able to be on an advanced level where I can perform and teach others. We'll see..

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Simple Tips for Accomplishing your Goals (from DumbLittleMan blog)

I stumbled across this awesome list while I was procrastinating at work. I thought it would be good to put it here so that I can keep myself motivated throughout my pursuits. Please keep in mind that for the purpose of simplicity I have condensed the author's original points.
However you can see original post here: http://www.dumblittleman.com/2011/10/7-tips-for-accomplishing-your-goals-in.html.

Tip 1: Bite Off Less Than You Can Chew
Most people never take action or stop half way to the goal line because they bite off more than they can chew. Eventually the goal they have in mind goes from being the pursuit of a dream to a daily chore. By starting with bite sized pieces, our view of how much progress we’ve made shifts dramatically.

Tip 2: Take Action Daily
The only way to get any sort of result is to take action towards a goal. By taking action every single day you create momentum. As momentum increases, the results taken from your action will become much more substantial.

Tip 3: Celebrate Small Victories
Don't get so caught up in getting to where you want to go that you forget to enjoy the journey and celebrate the small victories along the way.


Tip 4: Learn from Setbacks
Setbacks are usually opportunity in disguise and we have to remember that sometimes we’ll take 2 steps back in order take 20 steps forward.

Tip 5: Keep Charging Forward
It would be a shame to make so much progress towards a goal and abandon the pursuit in your final hours. Often, accomplishment occurs on the final hours of a goal.

Tip 6: Take a Break
It’s important to make a point daily to take a break from everything and do something without any purpose other than for the enjoyment of whatever you’re doing.


Tip 7: Detach from the Outcome
Consider the actions you take the seeds that you plant in order for your goal to come to fruition. If you pull those seeds out of the ground to check on the progress of their growth you’re essentially starting the process all over again. So, let nature take its course and stay detached from the outcome.

BOLD WORTHY: Treat your goals as part of the game of life and don’t take everything so seriously. If you do that you’ll find yourself not only enjoying the process but making much more progress.